Client-Centered Solutions

Overlooked reasons for divorce

On Behalf of | Jan 10, 2019 | Divorce

Divorce doesn’t always happen for dramatic reasons like infidelity, substance abuse or an endless cycle of arguments. While these things absolutely do happen, it’s important to remember that there can also be many smaller, often overlooked reasons that can contribute to divorce.

Are you wondering if one of those reasons could end your marriage? A few examples of more subtle indicators of divorce include:

1. You’re not invested in the relationship

Relationships take investment. You have to put in time, energy and emotion. They take work. It has to come from both people. If you or your spouse refuse to invest in the relationship, it can slowly fall apart, even if there is no big event that ends it all at once.

2. You don’t support each other when things get tough

Life isn’t always easy. People get sick. Loved ones pass away. People lose their jobs. When these events happen, one spouse needs to be there for the other. If your spouse does not “show up” for you, it’s going to have an impact. You may feel like you can’t trust them; it may actually lead to resentment.

3. You have expectations that never get met

Maybe you want to spend family time together on the weekends, but your spouse always wants to go out with friends. Maybe you want a more physical relationship, but your spouse doesn’t. If your expectations about marriage differ, the clash can push you apart.

In many cases, a lack of communication also contributes here. Your spouse may claim that you’re not living up to their expectations, even though they never actually took the time to tell you what they wanted in the first place.

4. You’re not friends

You started out as friends. You had fun together. Then, after getting married, you ended up feeling like roommates who were obligated to live together. A marriage cannot last too long without a foundation of friendship.

5. You’re not flexible

You and your spouse have different opinions about many things, from how you spend your money to how you raise the kids. The trouble is that neither of you will make any changes. You’re not flexible. Everything has to be the way you expect it to be, or it’s wrong. You can’t compromise. Unless one person changes dramatically, you’re always going to feel like you’re at odds with one another.

Your divorce

These are just a few reasons that a divorce may be on the horizon. If it happens, take the time to look into all of your legal options to help you work through the process.