Divorcing as a parent comes with additional responsibilities. One of those is keeping your children informed of what is happening.
Talking about divorce can be hard. You may be unsure about your feelings, as well as uncertain of how things are going to turn out. While you can share your uncertainty and confusion with a good friend over coffee in Ashburn, doing so with your children may not be so easy or wise.
The good news is your children do not care about a lot of the stuff you are worried about. The younger they are, the more true that will be. No ten-year-old cares what percentage of the marital debts you take on. No one-year-old knows what health insurance is, let alone thinks about how divorcing will remove your entitlement to health care through your spouse’s employer.
Kids want to know how divorce will affect them
It is not that children are selfish and do not care about you. Rather, it is that many adult concepts are beyond them or their sphere of interest. Keep things simple and tell them how life will change for them. Here are some things they definitely will want to know:
- Where will they live?
- Will they still see friends and family?
- Will they still go to the same school and clubs?
- Where will their pets live, and when will they see them?
- When will they see you and their other parent?
Besides that, as long as there is food on the table and data on their phone, they will adapt — provided they are sure you both still love them. Divorce can leave kids uncertain, so it is essential to remind them regularly.
You will not know everything when you start your divorce. As you find out more and resolve issues, you can add detail to the original information you gave your children. Having help to clear up your own doubts will make that easier.